Are you dealing with a stubborn / disrespectful child?

Cutting off ties with a disrespectful child is a serious and emotional decision that requires careful consideration. Before taking such a step, it’s essential to evaluate the situation deeply, as the action may have long-term consequences on the relationship and your emotional well-being. Here are some steps I would use to approach this matter:

1. Understand the Root of the Behaviour

Ask yourself why the child is being disrespectful.

Could there be underlying issues such as stress, mental health struggles, or external influences?

Consider any possible contributions from family dynamics or communication styles.


2. Set Clear Boundaries

Communicate the behaviour that is unacceptable and why.

Clearly outline the consequences if the behaviour continues.

For example: “I won’t allow you to disrespect me. If this continues, there will be repercussions like limiting communication.”


3. Have an Honest Conversation

Choose a calm time to express your feelings and concerns.

Let them know how their actions affect you without resorting to anger.

Listen to their perspective as well; the conflict might stem from misunderstanding or miscommunication.


4. Consider Family Mediation or Counselling

A neutral third party like a therapist or family counsellor can help facilitate healthy conversations.

They might uncover deeper issues that both parties can work on.


5. Take a Temporary Break (if Necessary)

If the disrespect persists despite attempts to resolve it, stepping back might be necessary.

Inform them of your decision calmly, e.g., “I need time to reflect because the current dynamics are hurtful.”


6. Set Conditions for Reconnection

Let the child know what behaviours or changes you’d like to see before re-establishing a close relationship.

Make it clear that this step isn’t about punishment but about ensuring mutual respect.


7. Seek Emotional Support

Surround yourself with friends, family, or a support group to process the decision.

Cutting ties can be lonely and emotionally taxing, and you shouldn’t face it alone.


8. Maintain Hope for Reconciliation

Leave the door open for future communication if the child shows genuine change.

Be willing to rebuild the relationship if respect and understanding improve over time.


Ultimately, this decision is personal and context-specific. If you’re struggling to make the best choice, consider speaking with a counsellor or mentor to guide you.

Corruption in Nigeria: A Deep Dive Into Governance Issues

THE BAD SIDE

Nigeria’s System of Government and Its Corruption Across Sectors

Corruption remains one of the most pressing challenges facing Nigeria, hindering its development and eroding trust in the government. This report examines how corruption permeates various sectors of Nigeria’s system of governance.

1. Executive Branch

The executive arm of government, led by the President, is often implicated in high-level corruption scandals. Misappropriation of funds, embezzlement, and patronage systems are common. Government projects are frequently inflated or abandoned, while funds allocated for development programs vanish. The absence of transparency in the oil and gas sector, which accounts for a significant portion of national revenue, is a major concern.

Examples:

Petroleum Subsidy Fraud: Billions of naira are lost annually due to fraudulent petroleum subsidy claims.

Security Votes: Governors and local executives use unaccountable “security votes” to siphon public funds.

2. Legislative Branch

The National Assembly (Senate and House of Representatives) is also mired in corruption. Legislators are accused of collecting bribes to pass bills, diverting constituency project funds, and engaging in budget padding. Lawmakers often prioritize personal gain over public service, undermining the institution’s integrity.

Examples:

Budget Padding: Legislators inflate budget allocations for personal benefit.

Constituency Projects: Funds for projects meant to benefit local communities are often embezzled.

3. Judicial Branch

Although the judiciary is meant to be the bastion of justice, corruption compromises its independence. Judges and court officials are often accused of accepting bribes to influence case outcomes. This undermines public confidence in the legal system and allows the wealthy and politically connected to escape accountability.

Examples:

Election Tribunals: Judges have been implicated in corrupt practices, leading to questionable rulings.

Delayed Justice: Corruption-induced delays erode citizens’ access to timely justice.

4. Civil Service

The civil service is plagued by systemic corruption, including nepotism, ghost workers, and contract fraud. Public servants often demand bribes to perform basic functions, exacerbating inefficiency and reducing citizens’ trust in government institutions.

Examples:

Ghost Workers: Salaries are paid to fictitious employees, draining public funds.

Bribery for Employment: Job seekers often pay hefty bribes for government positions.

5. Security Agencies

Corruption is rife in Nigeria’s police force, military, and other security agencies. Law enforcement officials often extort money from citizens, while military officers are accused of diverting funds meant for operations, especially in the fight against insurgency.

Examples:

Police Extortion: Officers demand bribes at checkpoints and for basic services.

Military Procurement Scandals: Billions allocated for weapons are embezzled, weakening national security.

6. Health Sector

Corruption in the health sector has dire consequences for the well-being of Nigerians. Mismanagement of funds, procurement fraud, and theft of medical supplies have led to poorly equipped hospitals and inadequate healthcare services.

Examples:

COVID-19 Funds Mismanagement: Relief funds were misappropriated during the pandemic.

Fake Pharmaceuticals: Corruption enables the proliferation of counterfeit drugs.

7. Education Sector

The education sector suffers from underfunding, poor infrastructure, and corruption. Officials misappropriate funds meant for school renovations, while bribery influences the recruitment and promotion of teachers.

Examples:

Examination Malpractice: Teachers and officials accept bribes to alter exam results.

Diversion of School Funds: Resources meant for schools are often misused.

8. Oil and Gas Sector

Nigeria’s oil and gas industry is a critical revenue generator but is also one of the most corrupt sectors. Oil theft, inflated contracts, and opaque financial dealings rob the nation of significant income.

Examples:

Oil Theft: Billions of barrels are siphoned off annually by organized syndicates.

Nigerian National Petroleum Corporation (NNPC): The NNPC has been linked to numerous corruption scandals.

9. Infrastructure and Public Works

Corruption in the infrastructure sector leads to substandard projects, abandoned works, and inflated costs. Contractors often pay kickbacks to officials, resulting in compromised project quality.

Examples:

Road Projects: Many road construction contracts are poorly executed.

Power Sector: Despite billions of naira spent on power projects, electricity supply remains inadequate.

10. Anti-Corruption Agencies

Ironically, agencies like the Economic and Financial Crimes Commission (EFCC) and the Independent Corrupt Practices Commission (ICPC) are not immune to corruption. Allegations of selective justice and bribery undermine their credibility.

Examples:

Selective Prosecution: Politically exposed persons often escape justice.

Bribery Allegations: Officials are accused of accepting bribes to drop cases.

Recommendations for Reform

1. Strengthen Institutions: Empower anti-corruption agencies with autonomy and resources.

2. Increase Transparency: Implement e-governance systems to reduce human involvement in processes.

3. Enforce Accountability: Prosecute corrupt officials regardless of their political or social status.

4. Improve Public Awareness: Educate citizens on the dangers of corruption and their rights.

5. Judicial Reform: Enhance the independence and efficiency of the judiciary.

Conclusion

Corruption remains a significant obstacle to Nigeria’s growth and development. While efforts to combat corruption have seen some progress, a more systemic and collective approach is necessary to rebuild public trust and ensure sustainable development. Without decisive action, the country risks perpetuating a cycle of inefficiency and poverty.

Investigation into Sambo Dasuki’s Alleged Misappropriation of Funds

A report by the Platform to Protect Whistleblowers in Africa (PPLAAF) has revealed that former Nigerian National Security Adviser Sambo Dasuki diverted public funds intended for fighting Boko Haram insurgents under former President Goodluck Jonathan’s administration. The investigation uncovered that Dasuki funneled millions of dollars into American luxury real estate.

Key Findings:

1. Misappropriation of Funds:

Nigerian authorities allege that Dasuki embezzled over $2 billion meant for anti-terrorism efforts through fake procurement deals and dubious contracts.

Part of these funds was traced to properties in Los Angeles, California, and McLean, Virginia, purchased by Robert and Mimie Oshodin, close associates of Dasuki.

2. U.S. Real Estate Purchases:

The Oshodins received at least $27 million from Dasuki’s office and used similar amounts to acquire U.S. real estate.

Transactions include:

A $9.5 million mansion in Los Angeles, purchased on the same day $12 million was transferred to the Oshodins’ furniture business.

A $2.8 million mansion in McLean, Virginia, featuring luxurious amenities like a wine cellar and sauna.

3. Lack of U.S. Oversight:

Despite Nigeria alerting the U.S. Department of Justice in 2018, the Oshodins continued acquiring properties, highlighting gaps in U.S. measures to curb illicit financial flows in real estate.

The Oshodins stored tens of millions of dollars in valuables, including a $3 million ring, at their properties.

4. Calls for Action:

Jimmy Kande, PPLAAF’s West Africa Director, emphasized the need for stronger U.S. legal measures against corruption.

Nigerian activist Lanre Suraj urged both nations to recover misappropriated assets.

5. Impact of Corruption:

Funds diverted from anti-terrorism efforts worsened Nigeria’s fight against Boko Haram, a group responsible for violence, displacement, and the infamous 2014 Chibok schoolgirl kidnapping.

6. Future Steps:

The U.S. Treasury Department’s Financial Crimes Enforcement Network plans to implement stricter rules for transparency in real estate transactions starting next year.

Conclusion:

The Dasukigate scandal underscores the ongoing challenge of combating corruption and recovering stolen assets. Enhanced international cooperation and stricter financial regulations are essential to address such cross-border financial crimes effectively.

Chicken to Berries

“Chicken to Berries” by Imeh Ibaeco is an enlightening journey into the unique physiology and anatomy of the human body, with a special focus on Nigerians and Africans. Through a series of insightful monographs, Ibaeco combines scientific knowledge with personal health experiences to uncover how lifestyle, diet, and cultural habits impact our bodies at the cellular level and beyond. Written to demystify complex biological processes, this series is an essential guide for readers seeking to better understand and nurture their health within the context of African lives and landscapes. With the release of these monographs coming soon, Chicken to Berries offers valuable insights into achieving wellness from the inside out.

Under the Moonlight: A Magical Children’s Storybook

As Downloadable e-book or Buy Hard copy

MY TRIP TO NIGERIA 2024.


My Journey to Nigeria in 2024

In the early days of 2024, I embarked on a journey that had long been a dream of mine: a trip to Nigeria. As the plane touched down at Murtala Muhammed International Airport in Lagos, I felt a mix of excitement and curiosity. I had read so much about the vibrant culture, rich history, and stunning landscapes of Nigeria, but I knew that experiencing it firsthand would be something entirely different.

Lagos, the country’s largest city, was my first stop. The city was a whirlwind of activity, with its bustling markets, crowded streets, and towering skyscrapers. I quickly learned that Lagos is a city that never sleeps. From the lively sounds of Afrobeats music spilling out of every corner to the mouth-watering aroma of street food like suya and puff-puff, I was immersed in a sensory overload.

One of the highlights of my time in Lagos was visiting the Nike Art Gallery. The sheer scale of the collection was overwhelming, with artworks that captured the essence of Nigerian culture and history. Each piece told a story, from the traditional to the contemporary, reflecting the diversity of the nation’s artistic expression. The gallery’s founder, Nike Davies-Okundaye, happened to be there, and she shared her journey of preserving and promoting African art. Her passion was infectious, and I left with a newfound appreciation for Nigerian creativity.

After a few days in the urban jungle of Lagos, I yearned to explore Nigeria’s natural beauty, so I made my way to Calabar in the southeast. The change in pace was refreshing. Calabar, with its colonial-era architecture and lush greenery, was a stark contrast to Lagos. The city’s serene atmosphere was exactly what I needed. I visited the Cross River National Park, where I had the chance to see the rare Cross River gorilla. Trekking through the dense rainforest, with the sounds of birds and distant waterfalls, was an experience I will never forget. The park’s guides were knowledgeable and passionate, sharing stories of the local wildlife and efforts to conserve this unique environment.

My journey continued north to the ancient city of Kano, where history seemed to come alive. Walking through the old city, I visited the famous Kano City Walls and the Gidan Makama Museum. The museum offered a deep dive into the history of the Hausa people, and I was particularly fascinated by the stories of the trans-Saharan trade that once made Kano a major economic hub.

One of the most memorable moments of my trip was witnessing the Durbar festival. The vibrant display of horsemanship, traditional music, and colourful attire was unlike anything I had ever seen. It was a celebration of culture, history, and community spirit. The energy was contagious, and I found myself cheering along with the locals as riders performed daring feats on horseback.

As my trip drew to a close, I spent my last few days in Abuja, Nigeria’s capital. The city’s modern architecture, including the stunning National Mosque and the National Christian Centre, was impressive. I took a quiet moment at the Millennium Park, reflecting on my journey. Nigeria had shown me so much: the warmth of its people, the depth of its history, and the beauty of its landscapes.

When it was finally time to leave, I realised that this trip had changed me in ways I hadn’t expected. Nigeria had left an indelible mark on my heart, and I knew that this was not goodbye, but rather “see you later.” As the plane ascended, I gazed out of the window one last time, already planning my return to this incredible country.


Watbridge Hotels in Uyo, Akwa Ibom State, is known for its hospitality, comfort, and modern amenities. Located in the heart of Uyo, along IBB way opposite Ibom Hall. This hotel is a great choice for both business and leisure travelers.

What to Expect at Watbridge Hotels, Uyo:

  1. Accommodation: The rooms are well-furnished, offering a blend of comfort and luxury. Depending on your budget, you can choose from a variety of room types, from standard to executive suites.
  2. Amenities: The hotel offers a range of amenities, including free Wi-Fi, a well-equipped fitness center, a swimming pool, and a spa. The hotel also has a restaurant that serves a mix of local and international cuisine.
  3. Location: Watbridge Hotels is centrally located, making it easy to explore Uyo and the surrounding areas. You’ll be close to the Ibom Plaza, Unity Park, and the Godswill Akpabio International Stadium.
  4. Security: Security is a priority at Watbridge, with 24/7 surveillance and professional security personnel ensuring a safe stay.
  5. Service: The staff is known for being courteous and helpful, ensuring that your stay is as comfortable as possible.

Exploring Akwa Ibom:

While in Uyo, take time to explore Akwa Ibom State:

  • Ibom Icon Hotel & Golf Resort: Visit this resort for a round of golf or simply enjoy the serene environment.
  • National Museum, Uyo: Learn about the history and culture of Akwa Ibom.
  • Ibeno Beach: One of the longest sand beaches in West Africa, perfect for relaxation.
  • Afi Mountain Wildlife Sanctuary: If you’re a nature lover, this sanctuary offers a chance to see some rare wildlife.

Your stay at Watbridge Hotels, combined with exploring the vibrant culture and natural beauty of Akwa Ibom, is sure to be a memorable experience.

HOW TO MANAGE A NAGGING WIFE.

How to deal with nagging wife no be easy work, but if you get sense, you fit manage am well. Here be some tips:

  1. Calm down – No shout back or vex. When she dey nag, just calm down and listen well well. E go help make things no worse.
  2. Understand wetin dey worry am – Sometimes, na because she get something for mind wey she no sabi how to talk. Try ask her wetin really dey bother her.
  3. Communicate well – Make sure say you two dey talk well. Sometimes na misunderstanding dey cause all the nagging. If una fit sit down talk well, e fit reduce am.
  4. Show love and care – Sometimes na attention she dey find. If you fit show her say you care, the nagging fit reduce.
  5. Set boundaries – If the nagging too much, no fear to talk your own too, but do am with respect. Make she know say you no like the constant nagging.
  6. Pick your battles – No be every small thing you go argue about. Some things, just let am go.
  7. Seek help if e too much – If the nagging don reach level wey you no fit handle, you fit talk to counselor or pastor make dem help una.

The key na patience, love, and understanding. Am Darkydey.

A SHORT PIDGIN ENGLISH FUNNY STORY

In a small fishing village on the coast of Nigeria, people spoke in a blend of languages that told stories of history, trade, and survival. It was a language called Pidgin English.

Every morning, Bayo, a young fisherman, would head to the shore to prepare his boat. As he worked, he would greet the other fishermen in Pidgin, a language that connected them all no matter their tribe. “O boy, how body?” he would call out. “Body dey inside,” they would reply with a smile, meaning they were doing fine.

One day, a stranger arrived in the village, a businessman from the city, speaking fluent English. He needed fish for his market but struggled to understand the fishermen’s language. He approached Bayo, asking, “Do you speak proper English?”

Bayo smiled and replied in Pidgin, “Oga, English na English. We fit understand, na di important tin.”

The businessman hesitated, confused but intrigued by the simplicity of the language that bridged gaps between the many tongues spoken in Nigeria. He quickly realized that though Pidgin was different from the English he knew, it carried the heart of the people—straightforward, vibrant, and full of life.

As the days passed, the businessman began picking up bits of Pidgin. He learned that it wasn’t about being ‘proper’ but about connection, understanding, and making do with what you had. And in the village, everyone had a way to make themselves understood.

By the end of his stay, he greeted Bayo with a confident, “How you dey?”

Bayo laughed, impressed, and replied, “I dey kampe, Oga!” Which meant, “I’m doing great!” The two shared a smile, knowing that language is more than just words—it’s a bridge between worlds.